Our family took a trip to one of our favorite amusement parks. Busch Gardens. It's a 2 hour drive through dense trees, dense traffic, and dense people for that matter. And I don't mean dense to the people in a nice way. Get a license people. Okay, rant over. Is it wrong for me not to want my children to age? I keep thinking that this is as good as it gets. And don't we preserve things that are as good as they get? The football trophies, the blue ribbons, the framed art piece! It's the culmination of showing "This is as good as it gets". Only I can't stop time and frame my children (at least not in the U.S. anyway)and I can't stop these awesome children from growing up. They amaze me every day. They stretch my heart to the ends of the Earth's boundaries and then back again. Not always in good ways mind you. But they are good kids. And I feel so blessed it's immeasurable.
So small diatribe of love out of the way, I'd like to discuss the potential future driving issues I have to look forward to. My kids, of all the rides at Busch Gardens, picked the bumper cars as one of their favorite rides. Laura was too small to ride alone so she was Evan's back seat driver. And boy did they have a great time. Nothing but smiles wracking those faces. But here I have broken it down to the three boys and what I have to look forward to if we equate bumper cars as any indication to what potential driving skills will be. Evan will not ever get insurance. They won't even touch us. That kid deliberately crashed into every vehicle he could get his rubber bumper on. Old men, young fathers with giddy kid like goof grins on their faces were no match for my 12 year old. He rammed them like the Vikings of old, all rolled into one human. And he was happy about it. Yikes. So that said, I'm going to have to enroll him in car insurance prior to his driving record hitting the streets. So I'm nicknaming him "The Viking Crasher". On to second child--Aedyn. Aedyn will never make it out of the driveway. He will just sit there contentedly and rev the car. Perhaps he'll get trapped in a cul-de-sac and never make it out. He was "The Spinner" in the bumper cars. Couldn't quite figure out that whole steering wheel thing and continued to spin like a pretty ballerina for the duration of his rides. Eventually he picked it up but yeah...there's no "eventually" permitted in driving. It's drive or die suckah! And lastly there was Grant. Grant I'm labeling as "Mr. Rogers". He tooled around the track like Mr. Rogers might in his neighborhood of make believe. Grant didn't pay attention to any of the crashers. He just drove around oblivious to the fact that the whole idea behind bumper cars is to bump (or pummel as Evan would do). He stayed clear of the trouble makers. He should have been wearing a sweater vest with a comb over. But I think he's set for driving when he turns 70. He's got that whole 20 miles below the speed limit down pat. He tired of the bumper cars more quickly than The Spinner and The Viking Crasher. But that's alright. This gives me hope that Allstate isn't going to send my rates through the roof. That whatever deeds of destruction Evan sews, Grant will retract. And Aedyn is going to save me gas mileage. See, positive thinking. Please don't forward this post to Allstate if you value our relationship AT ALL.
